Learning to dance can be a daunting affair – particularly for men – for whom dancing is often not considered an acceptable pastime. Thankfully this is changing as programs such as Dancing With The Stars (Strictly Come Dancing if you're in the UK) are gathering momentum and popularity. If you want to learn to dance then go take a lesson – don't read this article.
This article is not about technique and better leading. Contained herein are just a few things to remember for the average bloke about to hit a dance class or a social floor. They are not exclusive to swing, and are probably applicable to all couples dancing, but swing is a definite example and a fun style to learn. If you want to learn to dance – learn to dance swing!
Some Very Basic Things to Remember
Couples' dancing is, by its very definition, quite intimate. But it is invariably a false intimacy. It's a social dance, so almost all leads will dance with a range of follows (Men are leads, women are follows). As such there are a range of courtesies that are incredibly important to remember. The very simplest of these are:
- Deodorant. Remember to wear it. Remember to reapply it. Dancing in general and swing dancing in particular is fast paced, close and hot. You will sweat. Probably profusely. If need be also take a change of shirt or two, but definitely remember deodorant.
- Clean Teeth/Breath mints. Along the same lines as point one. Nobody likes dancing close to somebody with bad breath. It's humbling, but important to remember.
Some More Advanced Things to Remember
So much for basic hygiene then. Now on to some more dance specific thoughts.
- Ask a range of people to dance. Generally you will spend most of your evening dancing with friends and other people from your dance class. But don't neglect new faces or teachers. There is no question it is intimidating to dance with a teacher, but do it anyway. This is not so much a question of sexism as it is of chivalry, although some would argue that they are one and the same. It is, believe it or not, quite daunting to ask someone to dance sometimes. As such, the chivalrous thing to do is to take that difficulty onto oneself, rather than pile it all upon the follow.
- Smile. As ridiculous as it sounds, this can actually be extremely difficult to do, although it's important to remember. Chances are, as a lead, you'll be trying to think a few bars ahead, thinking of what moves to do, how you're leading, and generally trying not to plough into other couples on the floor. That much concentrating can show on a face, but try and remember to smile at your follow. If you're doing particularly well you can attempt conversation, but this is often too much multi-tasking to easily be borne.
- Tailor your leading. If you're dancing with an inexperienced follow then don't break out all your hardest and most glamorous moves. Dance more simply. Again this comes under the banner of chivalry. On a more practical level if you're leading moves that she is unable to follow it will be frustrating for both parties.
The Big Thought
As a final, incredibly important thought, remember this: As the lead – if something should go wrong – it is always your fault. Even if it's not. Simply put you should never criticise or apportion blame to your follow. Make suggestions, possibly even teach a little. But the phrase “You did that wrong” should never – ever – pass your lips. Even on that odd occasion when it is actually her fault, the chances are strong that she knows it. There's no need to rub it in.
On the occasion that it is blatantly her fault then it is not necessary to apologise as that will just seem patronising. But the old adage “If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all” holds true here. The lead is a gentleman, and the dance floor is not a place for argument.
So these are a just a few points to remember when hitting the dance floor. There is of course a lot of give and take. Follows should of course try not to smell too bad or be hyper-critical of their leads. They should smile and so forth. But as the lead – ostensibly the person in charge of the dance – they are important side issues to consider.
Robert Ellinger - Hi, welcome to my site, whoever you are. I generally write about whatever takes my fancy, although my specialty is definitely film review ...
